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opinion and stuff [7-22-06 at 3pm]
[ mood | tired and sick. drained. ]

This is how I think we came to be:

In the beginning, there was nothing at all but the moon and the sun. And the moon wanted to come out during the day, but there was something so much brighter that seemed to fill up all those hours. The moon grew hungry, thinner and thinner, until she was just a slice of herself, and her tips were as sharp as a knife. By accident, because that is the way most things happen, she poked a hole in the night and out spilled a million stars, like a fountain of tears.
Horrified, the moon tried to swallow them up, and sometimes this worked, because she got fatter and rounder. But mostly it didnt, because there were just so many. The stars kept coming, until they made the sky so bright that the sun got jealous. He invited the stars to his side of the world, where it was always bright. What he didnt tell them, though, was that in the daytime, they'd never be seen. So the stupid ones leaped from the sky to the ground, and they froze under the weight of their own follishness.
The moon did her best. She carved each of these blocks of sorrow into a mad or a woman. She spent the rest of her time watching out so that her other stars wouldnt fall. She spent the rest of her time holding on to whatever scraps she had left.
(It's actually from a really, really good book, but its alot like what I had believed before I found that it had been put into actual words.)

Anyway, I'm tired and I feel really sick. Work is really killing me, I cant stand all those little bitchy kids. Whineing all the time and such. I'm sorry if thats spelt wrong.

Whatever. I just thought I'd update since I havent in a while.

4 & comment

[7-15-06 at 10am]
[ mood | like SHIT ]

I should not be awake, no, I shouldnt. Especially spending the whole night being scared out of my mind watching The Excorsism of Emily Rose and then crying my heart out watching A Lot Like Love. I am suddenly obsenely obsessed with that movie, despite the horrible reviews it got when it first came out in thearters. I really dont understand why everyone hated that movie, because as you can tell, I love it.

Anyway, my stomach is churning from the eggs my sister made for me; they were pretty raw. I'm only up because I'm pretty sure I didnt sleep. And I'm only updating because I havent in a while and because, frankly, I have nothing to do.

talk to you all later.

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

1 & comment

! [7-6-06 at 7pm]
[ mood | kill me right now ]

OMFG. I love/hate my new job. I'm a counsler at Rye Rec, and I work with the little first graders. They are sooooo adorable, but they are SO ANNOYING! I want to rip my hair out sometimes! I guess it's because the days seem so long. Once we get in the pool, the day is going to be wayyyy shorter, and I'll get a few seconds rest. Thank the Lord Jesus Christ. Ugh, I get sooo exhausted from running around with these lovely little BRATS.

Besides that, my life has been extremely un-eventfull.

Oh, I badly need about 60$ and a buddy to go to Warped Tour with me.
-your mother/father/guardian has to be 100% OK COOL with it. no exceptions, im not waiting for the last two days to buy the tickets, and then have a lame time because we have to stop every ten minutes for a phone call.
-you need to be able to contribute a ride for one way, there or back. I'll even let you choose if I like you.
-you need to know what Warped Tour is, and you must need to know a minimum of five good bands that are going. no little twit teenies who think that the guy from some band you saw on some show was cute.
(if i sound like a freak and/or a bitch, you dont know how many shows i've missed because of the above. i cant even count on my fingers. it makes me want to scream FUCK until i cant breath.)

whoever can guess what lyrics these are gets a prize!! (you prob know anyway. oh, and last time it was bright eyes- spent on rainy days)

I wanna know how to get through this
(how to get through this)
Without choking up.
I cant feel you,
You're so far from me.

5 & comment

ahem. first post! [7-3-06 at 9pm]
[ mood | im alright. ]

Boy, do I have a lot on my mind...

I'll start my telling you about my weekend:
This Saturday was my cousin Leah's wedding. She's awsome, by the way, and has this really awsome awsome AWSOME new husband named Gerard. Anyway, all Saturday I got my hair and make-up done, which was wayy sick. Maybe if you ask nicely I'll show you some pictures. Everything was done at my cousins mom's (she isnt my aunt, btw) summer house. Let me tell you, that house is MUY SICKK YO! So then this annoying asian Eric Wong took tons of professional pictures of us. Whatever.

The wedding then began. And of course I cried and Leah cried as well as all the other bridesmades and some of the guests, and I swear to whatever God you believe in that Gerard was going to cry to, because Leah was looking fucking STUNNING and so yeah.. yeah.

After the wedding we partied too hard. I still have a headache. An asshole even dared to tell me I did jello shots, but I dont believe him. (by the way, if i sound like someone whose not cool but is like I GOT SO DRUNK to sound cool... thats not me, honestly. you can think that, if you like, but thats just your mind telling you mean lies.) So anyway, it was a grand party fo sheezzy. And there was a bonfire after it. That was also muy sick.

The rest of my weekend was spent on the beach in Montauk either sleeping or eating. Lots of fun.

I do have alot to think about, as I just read some of my friend's LJ's, and realized how people really make things a bit to dramatic at times. Like, they blow things way out of proportion and make it seem like they are totally perfect and did nothing wrong. They'll tell these stories and they make everyone look like the bad guy. That bothers me like no other. When I tell a story, I say exactly what happened, and exactly how I probably acted the wrong way and said the wrong thing, as I usually am a very dramatic person. I am also a hypocrite and sometimes even a compulsive liar, if you ask the right people.

So yeah, I hate people alot. They're just so... bleh. They're are some pretty sick people. I just dont know them. Well, Marisa and Bel I know are really awsome no matter what. Other people get iffy even if I do enjoy their company. I guess thats life. Now I sound like a philosofer, if thats how you spell it. Sometimes if you slap me I'll stop.

In the spirit of lengthy posts (yeah, this is propably not that long, but what do i know), I'm going to post a whole song instead of just a part of one:

I wish I saved up for rainy days cause they're the hardest to be dry
I got no self control
I'm always begging into telephones
I bought a little from my brother's friend, well, just to get me by
I don't trust his cut
The effect is never as high as the mark-up
I think I'll print it in the personals that I'm looking for a match
Someone to light me up, someone to burn the proof of the things that I've done
Each day there are hours I skip like a stone
I just crawl in a bag
I'm gonna live my life like somebody's shadow

I know I'm lazy with the little things, I mean I never held a door
But I still loved you more than anyone since or before
You are always saying that I owe you one, well, let's consolidate this debt
Get on a payment plan, I'll pay you compliments, you can still treat me bad
But now it's easy, getting easier, to leave you and this town behind
I'll do some traveling
Once I'm gone tell all our friends you got even
I'm held like an object and then set aside
And I'm back on the shelf, I'm locked in the drawer
I'm mint in the box, but you would still sell me for cost, wouldn't you?

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